In the Words of a Mother

Author Susan O’Brien (Finding Sky and Sky High, Nicki Valentine Mysteries) is a personal inspiration, given my lofty aspirations of becoming an author some day. Her interview with The Mummy Resume, concludes the Holding on to You series and exhibits that it is possible to achieve holistic personal fulfillment by embracing the multiple roles of womanhood. Susan allows the blessings of motherhood to inspire her writing; her  creativity remains unfazed by the obvious demands of being a mother. Her books are a delightful read! 

  

Who are you? (Give us an elevator pitch of who you define yourself to be?)

I’m a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and writer whose top goal is to serve God.

Has your definition of yourself fundamentally changed since you became a mom?

Definitely. I was beyond thrilled to gain the title of “Mom”! It far surpasses any title I’d ever had — and any title I’ll ever have.

What do you do? What do you enjoy about it? What don’t you? Has your choice of profession eased your role as a mother or made it more challenging?

Professionally, I’ve been a writer and editor for decades. Because I wrote about parenting (at home) for many years (plus enjoyed having a career and needed the income), my work helped me become a better parent.

What don’t I do? Hmmm...anything my intuition tells me not to do.

In ‘Finding Sky’ and ‘Sky High,’ the main character is a mom of young children. Although her primary role is as an amateur sleuth in the plot, motherhood pervades everything she does. Was this intentional? Or were you like ‘Nicki’ naturally showing that motherhood indeed pervades a mother’s entire life?

Yes, Nicki is first and foremost a mom. She sees everything through her “mom lens,” which presents particular (and sometimes humorous) challenges. I wanted to create a character who was honest about her struggles. No one should ever feel alone in the parenting trenches!

Describe a typical day in your life, describe any routines you’ve developed to stay organized.

When I was writing Finding Sky, I forced myself to write a set number of words per day, even though I often felt incapable. My second mystery, Sky High, just released, so now I’m working on the third mystery and trying to stick to a daily word count again. I’d much rather try and fail (even if I write junk) than end the day without trying.

In terms of routines, I prefer to pray first (which helps me start the day with a peaceful outlook), write, go for a walk, and work again late at night. When my kids were young, writing and editing during naptime (and after bedtime, during kids’ TV shows, etc.) was essential. If that meant the house got messier than I liked, which it often did, I had to accept that.

What are your secrets to balancing motherhood, and writing? Particularly with writing, I find that inspiration is key and not always achievable when assuming your duties as a mother... Any practical tips?

I find inspiration is key, too. Yet I also find that if I force myself to write, I’m surprised by unexpected inspiration. Some of my favorite scenes get written when I sit down uninspired and unsure. Also, when inspiration strikes, no matter when or where, it helps to jot down thoughts.

What do you enjoy doing in your leisure and how have you maintained ‘me’ time during your journey in motherhood?

Writing is a job and a hobby for me. I also love walking (running when I’m in good shape), dancing, baking, and photography. When I only have a few minutes to spare, I often dance to an R&B song or two...even if it’s at my desk!

How have you kept your marriage alive through the exhaustion of balancing it all? How has your spouse been supportive?

My husband and I work as a team when it comes to achieving goals, so I feel lucky. When I got a master’s degree in forensic psychology, for example, I gave my husband a diploma, too. We’d both worked for it. And when things get tough, neither of us wants to give up.

  

What other support systems do you have?

My entire family is a support system. My mom, siblings, husband, and kids are all incredible. And my friends, some of whom are in a healing prayer group with me at church, are wonderful.

What are your pitfalls? Or what things do you still struggle with in balancing motherhood and life? Are there times you feel you are not keeping it together? When does this happen? How do you push through the rut?

Balancing parenting and work is a big challenge, for sure. Working at home makes it both harder and easier. (Laundry is always calling my name!) When I’m in a rut, I remember that I feel called to write and parent, and I should trust that I can do it. Blasting upbeat music when I’m home alone also helps!

What do you enjoy most about being a mother? Why? 

I can’t name one thing that I enjoy most about parenting. It’s wonderful in soooo many ways! But you know what? I learn a lot from the stressful parts, too.

Do you believe you know what your purpose is in life? If you do, what are you doing to achieve it? If you don’t what are you doing to figure it out? Are you able to define life’s purpose apart from your role as a mother? If so do you believe that’s important and how do you do so? If not, why is it not important?

Since I was little, I knew I was meant to be an author. I also believe I was meant to be a parent. And I’m drawn to some prayer-related activities that I’m pursuing.

I believe the plans for each person are so intricate and amazing that I could never guess them. I don’t try to separate out my purposes; I think they’re probably intertwined in complicated ways.

What dreams and aspirations do you have for your child(ren) and how are you working towards giving them a head start in that direction?

I have many. Here’s just one: I want my kids to believe they have divine purpose(s) in life – important ways to grow and contribute. I want them to know that persevering (even when it’s really, really hard) is worth it. I want that for everyone. I encourage my kids to follow their interests and passions, and that is so rewarding.

What advice do you have for young moms aspiring to excel at motherhood while reaching their full potential in other endeavors?

I want parents of young children to know they’re not alone in their challenges! In my experience, parenting gets easier (not easy, but easier), and sometimes our dreams take waaay longer to accomplish than we planned. It took a long time to write Finding Sky, but I couldn’t give up. And now Sky High is written and published, too! If you believe something is meant to be, go for it!

Susan O’Brien writes the Agatha Award-nominated Nicki Valentine mystery series. She donates part of her royalties to missing children’s organizations. Visit her at http://www.SkywritingSusan.com.