Sunday, November 29, 2015

The Gift of Garb

http://www.foxnews.com 
Much to my dismay, our daughter learned how to say and correctly refer to ‘Daddy’ long before she learned ‘Mummy.’ As much as I was excited about her early words and thrilled that her vocabulary began to develop even before her 1st birthday, I wished, often aloud, that after the labor of love that is motherhood, my name would be the first thing on her lips. My dear husband tried to appease me. He said, “Don’t worry she’ll be saying ‘mummy’ in no time.” He was right about my worries being unfounded. These days, I wake up daily to loud trumpets of “Mummy, Mummy, Muuuummmmmmyyyy, Hellooooo? I’m awake!” Our daughter’s second year has been a thrilling series of rib-cracking moments and mouth-dropping gasps as she has stunned us time and time again with what is obviously the gift of garb….and humor!

Just earlier today in response to her father’s inquiry about unfinished food on her plate, she said, “Hold on Daddy, I just need to check my e-mails!” She then proceeded to look for my phone and pretend to be a busy professional. LOL!  She has also responded to requests for chores in the past with ‘I’m busy, I have things to do!” At other times, she has instructed her Dad or myself to take our vitamins if she sees any sign of us getting sick! 

I guess what amuses and frightens us most about her speech is that it often mirrors what she’s heard us say or observed us do! Children at this age are eerily observant and will replay your life right back to you, especially when you have company! Because they are so impressionable, it is especially crucial to fill their minds with wholesome things – good books, prayer, and educational games. One of the things that I have found useful recently, in additional to our usual reading and library visits, is flashcards. I recently purchased a pack on Amazon that allows me to drill her in her colors, shapes, numbers, letters, and sight words. It makes for great bonding time and fun games. It is also a great lesson of patience for me, as my two year old has an attention span of zero. One day on our ride back home from school, she proudly announced to me that the upcoming stop sign was red and an octagon! I was duly impressed and reminded myself how worthwhile those nightly drills were!


Her witty comments have been noticed at school too. During the thanksgiving luncheon at school, she shared a table with her principal who noticed that our daughter would much rather dissect and play with her mashed potatoes than eat them. “Why don’t you want to eat you mashed potatoes," the principal asked. “I just don’t,” our daughter replied with a self-assured shrug that tickled her principal pink. Aside from her humor, I was just relieved to hear that I wasn’t the only one she gave a hard time over her food!

Her interactions with her peers are just as humorous. Recently, we met family friends we hadn't seen in a while. They have a son who is a few days apart in age from our daughter. When the kids met, the boy was obviously super shy and hid behind his mum to avoid all interaction. Our daughter approached him, and giggled knowingly and said, "Look Mummy, he's cute!" That certainly didn't help to put the poor boy at ease but it provided a great laugh for us parents!

These days, wishing my daughter would say ‘mummy’ or talk in general, is but a distant memory. She fills our lives with constant, funny, witty, chatter, which we cherish dearly because we know that we’ll miss these years down the road.

Friday, October 2, 2015

In the Words of a Mother


Author Susan O’Brien (Finding Sky and Sky High, Nicki Valentine Mysteries) is a personal inspiration, given my lofty aspirations of becoming an author some day. Her interview with The Mummy Resume, concludes the Holding on to You series and exhibits that it is possible to achieve holistic personal fulfillment by embracing the multiple roles of womanhood. Susan allows the blessings of motherhood to inspire her writing; her  creativity remains unfazed by the obvious demands of being a mother. Her books are a delightful read! 


Who are you? (Give us an elevator pitch of who you define yourself to be?)
I’m a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and writer whose top goal is to serve God.

Has your definition of yourself fundamentally changed since you became a mom?
Definitely. I was beyond thrilled to gain the title of “Mom”! It far surpasses any title I’d ever had — and any title I’ll ever have.

What do you do? What do you enjoy about it? What don’t you? Has your choice of profession eased your role as a mother or made it more challenging?
Professionally, I’ve been a writer and editor for decades. Because I wrote about parenting (at home) for many years (plus enjoyed having a career and needed the income), my work helped me become a better parent.

What don’t I do? Hmmm...anything my intuition tells me not to do.

In ‘Finding Sky’ and ‘Sky High,’ the main character is a mom of young children. Although her primary role is as an amateur sleuth in the plot, motherhood pervades everything she does. Was this intentional? Or were you like ‘Nicki’ naturally showing that motherhood indeed pervades a mother’s entire life?
Yes, Nicki is first and foremost a mom. She sees everything through her “mom lens,” which presents particular (and sometimes humorous) challenges. I wanted to create a character who was honest about her struggles. No one should ever feel alone in the parenting trenches!

Describe a typical day in your life, describe any routines you’ve developed to stay organized.
When I was writing Finding Sky, I forced myself to write a set number of words per day, even though I often felt incapable. My second mystery, Sky High, just released, so now I’m working on the third mystery and trying to stick to a daily word count again. I’d much rather try and fail (even if I write junk) than end the day without trying.

In terms of routines, I prefer to pray first (which helps me start the day with a peaceful outlook), write, go for a walk, and work again late at night. When my kids were young, writing and editing during naptime (and after bedtime, during kids’ TV shows, etc.) was essential. If that meant the house got messier than I liked, which it often did, I had to accept that.

What are your secrets to balancing motherhood, and writing? Particularly with writing, I find that inspiration is key and not always achievable when assuming your duties as a mother... Any practical tips?
I find inspiration is key, too. Yet I also find that if I force myself to write, I’m surprised by unexpected inspiration. Some of my favorite scenes get written when I sit down uninspired and unsure. Also, when inspiration strikes, no matter when or where, it helps to jot down thoughts.


What do you enjoy doing in your leisure and how have you maintained ‘me’ time during your journey in motherhood?
Writing is a job and a hobby for me. I also love walking (running when I’m in good shape), dancing, baking, and photography. When I only have a few minutes to spare, I often dance to an R&B song or two...even if it’s at my desk!

How have you kept your marriage alive through the exhaustion of balancing it all? How has your spouse been supportive?
My husband and I work as a team when it comes to achieving goals, so I feel lucky. When I got a master’s degree in forensic psychology, for example, I gave my husband a diploma, too. We’d both worked for it. And when things get tough, neither of us wants to give up.
  
What other support systems do you have?
My entire family is a support system. My mom, siblings, husband, and kids are all incredible. And my friends, some of whom are in a healing prayer group with me at church, are wonderful.

What are your pitfalls? Or what things do you still struggle with in balancing motherhood and life? Are there times you feel you are not keeping it together? When does this happen? How do you push through the rut?
Balancing parenting and work is a big challenge, for sure. Working at home makes it both harder and easier. (Laundry is always calling my name!) When I’m in a rut, I remember that I feel called to write and parent, and I should trust that I can do it. Blasting upbeat music when I’m home alone also helps!

What do you enjoy most about being a mother? Why? 
I can’t name one thing that I enjoy most about parenting. It’s wonderful in soooo many ways! But you know what? I learn a lot from the stressful parts, too.

Do you believe you know what your purpose is in life? If you do, what are you doing to achieve it? If you don’t what are you doing to figure it out? Are you able to define life’s purpose apart from your role as a mother? If so do you believe that’s important and how do you do so? If not, why is it not important?
Since I was little, I knew I was meant to be an author. I also believe I was meant to be a parent. And I’m drawn to some prayer-related activities that I’m pursuing.

I believe the plans for each person are so intricate and amazing that I could never guess them. I don’t try to separate out my purposes; I think they’re probably intertwined in complicated ways.

What dreams and aspirations do you have for your child(ren) and how are you working towards giving them a head start in that direction?
I have many. Here’s just one: I want my kids to believe they have divine purpose(s) in life – important ways to grow and contribute. I want them to know that persevering (even when it’s really, really hard) is worth it. I want that for everyone. I encourage my kids to follow their interests and passions, and that is so rewarding.

What advice do you have for young moms aspiring to excel at motherhood while reaching their full potential in other endeavors?
I want parents of young children to know they’re not alone in their challenges! In my experience, parenting gets easier (not easy, but easier), and sometimes our dreams take waaay longer to accomplish than we planned. It took a long time to write Finding Sky, but I couldn’t give up. And now Sky High is written and published, too! If you believe something is meant to be, go for it!

Susan O’Brien writes the Agatha Award-nominated Nicki Valentine mystery series. She donates part of her royalties to missing children’s organizations. Visit her at http://www.SkywritingSusan.com.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Something's Gotta Give

Source: http://ipcconsultants.blogspot.com/2012/05/somethings-gotta-give.html
As the third part of the Holding On To You series, this post features an interview with a young dental student who is a wife and mother of an adorable two year old son. Nicole (pseudonym) tells of how she manages her multiple roles successfully by being committed to her purpose as a Godly wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. 


The Mummy Resume: Who are you? What's your elevator pitch?

Nicole: I am a woman trying to figure out my role in life; as a wife, mother, student and person and how I can live the life God has set out for me to live.

The Mummy Resume: Has your definition of yourself fundamentally changed since you became a mom?

Nicole: Yes. I think becoming a mom made me realize that the world does not revolve around me. 

The Mummy Resume: What do you do? What do you enjoy about it? Has your choice of profession eased your role as a mother or made it more challenging?

Nicole: I am studying to become a dentist. I enjoy the satisfaction of being able to treat a patient and get them out of pain or discomfort. I derive the same satisfaction from being a mother as I tend to my son’s needs.

The Mummy Resume: Describe a typical day in your life. What are your secrets to balancing motherhood, school, and life? Any practical tips? 

Nicole: Well, on a typical day, I wake up, brush my teeth, take a shower, have devotion, eat breakfast, leave by 7am, and drive 30 minutes to school. I attend my classes; go to clinic, then drive back home, where I feed my son, have dinner, play with my son, bath my son, study and go to bed. A pretty standard day if you asked me. I really have no secrets. I take it day by day. Some days are great. Others make me wish I had super powers. I do find myself crying out to God to help me, which He does. I also have a wonderful support group including my husband.

I try to take breaks from my routine - I simply enjoy just being home and hanging out with the family. I also tend to play games on my phone during dull moments to take my mind off school.

The Mummy Resume: Wow, definitely some great lessons in there. Taking it day by day is important. Sometimes as mothers, wives, and women chasing a career, or in your case, an education, we function on overwhelmingly long lists of to-dos. Having the wisdom to take it day by day and then finding and relying on a great support system and divine help, certainly makes an otherwise impossible role manageable.

Which brings me to my next question, how have you kept your marriage alive through the exhaustion of balancing it all? 

Nicole: Date nights, praying together, sharing about our days, doing special things for each other to show that we do care. My spouse has encouraged me through the harder times and prayed for me.

The Mummy Resume:  That’s wonderful. I’m sure sharing spiritual beliefs helps ground you too and gives you the common foundation needed to be supportive of each other. You certainly seem like you have got it all together. Do you have any pitfalls? What are they? What things do you still struggle with in balancing motherhood and life? Are there days when things seem to fall apart?

Nicole: Hahaha, I couldn't help but chuckle at your description of me having everything together. Are there days when things seem to fall apart? Certainly! I feel like that is me a lot of the time. I'm not perfect but I do want the best for my family. So every day I try to put them first. That does not always happen but tomorrow is a new day and I just ask God to show me how to be better.

The Mummy Resume: I love your spirit of acceptance. I feel like a lot of the stress we undergo as women is self-imposed because we do not celebrate the small victories and simply accept our limitations. What are those small victories for you? What do you enjoy most about being a mother? Why?

Nicole: This might not make sense but looking into my son's eyes and marveling at the fact that he is my son and that God gave him to me. It's surreal because I feel like a kid myself sometimes. I certainly believe that there is a kid in every one of us…but yes, just coming to the humbling realization that I am privileged to be a mother makes all the struggles and challenges that come with the role so worth it.

The Mummy Resume: What dreams and aspirations do you have for your son and how are you working towards giving him a head start in that direction?

Nicole: I wish that my son grows up to be a man after God's heart. I want him to be fulfilled in whatever vocation he decides to pursue and that God will bless him too with a loving family.

The Mummy Resume: Those are really treasured aspirations for your son and I’m sure the prayers you say today for those wishes to come true will make a great difference several years down the lane. What advice do you have for young moms like yourself aspiring to excel at motherhood while reaching their full potential in other endeavors? 

Nicole: Don't be afraid to ask for help. Also realize that something always gives so you have to be okay with the fact that three more hours at work, will mean three hours less with your child or family but when you are with your family, make every moment count.

Monday, January 5, 2015

"Motherhood is laughing till you cry and crying till your laugh..."

Happy New Year! After an unpardonably long hiatus, The Mummy Resume is back with a continuation of  the Holding On To You series. This post features an interview with a young mother and blogger (SimplyChic Momma) who shares her experiences about juggling motherhood and life. Check out her awesome blog at http://babyfromabove.blogspot.com/ 


The Mummy Resume: What’s your elevator pitch? Who are you?

SimplyChic Momma: I am a first time momma & wife juggling my mundane desk job with my DIY addiction. My baby and bridal blogs serve the dual purpose of being both a form of therapeutic relief as well as an awesome open journal to look back on

The Mummy Resume: Has your definition of yourself fundamentally changed since you became a mom?

SimplyChic Momma: Absolutely! The journey of pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood is such an intense one, it is impossible to go through it without being transformed. More than anything I see myself slowly morphing into my mother in so many ways! I feel like a character in a comic book for saying this but the experience of motherhood showed me hidden strength from within that I didn't  even know existed.

The Mummy Resume: Haha, ‘slowly morphing into your mother huh’? I can totally relate with that. I suppose it makes sense since most of our lessons about motherhood stem from watching our own mothers. Somehow though, it isn’t always easy to imbibe how they balanced it all. What are your secrets to balancing motherhood, work, and life? I know you do a ton of creative projects and you made all your daughter’s baby food. How did you do this? Any practical tips?

SimplyChic Momma: The biggest secret of all is that there truly is no secret. Honestly.  People asked me  all the time how I found the time to make all her baby food and still have time for all my crafting projects, and blogging amidst everything else I have to do, and I’ll always say it’s simply a juggling act. By its very definition the term juggling means at any given time some things will be out of my hands. I’ve accepted that and made peace with that, I can’t be perfect at every single thing all the time, but that doesn’t stop me from constantly wanting to try something new or add a new challenge to my routine.  Do I consider myself a super mom? By all means no, like all moms out there I have good days and not so great days when my home looks disastrous, and my toddler screams like a banshee for no reason, at such a high volume and pitch it’s totally undecipherable by humans. And yet still I know tomorrow will be another day and we will get to try all over again. If anything at all, my best advice is to always keep an open mind about trying new things. Too often we defeat ourselves in advance with our own fears and insecurities about how impossible it all seems and how we won’t be as good as that other mom.  In the famous words of Mandela “It always seems impossible until it’s done” Trying, trying and trying some more, that is really all it takes. If you aren't scared to fail a few times, you will succeed a lot!

The Mummy Resume: ‘Trying, trying and trying some more’ – great words of wisdom. I read an article that asserted that true ‘super moms’ don’t view themselves as such. Thanks for your honesty; it’s refreshing to know that we are all in the great struggle of motherhood together. While you are busy at being the best mum you can be, what you enjoy doing in the leisure time that you can muster and how have you maintained ‘me’ time during your journey in motherhood.

SimplyChic Momma: I love trying out new DIY projects, usually with crafts and home décor for my daughter’s room as well as our entire home. I also enjoy baking and cooking up new recipes for the family, it is my mission to try to make sure my daughter’s diet consists mainly of healthy wholesome homemade food as much as possible.  I’m sure it is different for every mom, but for me I am so passionate about my hobbies I always find the time to work on them even if only for a little while. Having a supportive partner makes all the difference!

The Mummy Resume: What do you enjoy most about being a mother? Why? 

SimplyChic Momma: Everything!  As cliché as it sounds, I’ve enjoyed every single moment of it. It’s a package deal, you simply can’t take part of it without the rest. The highs are even more awesome because of the lows. The challenges make the triumphs so much sweeter. There would be nothing special about my daughter sleeping through the night in her own crib, unless of course you knew the struggles of months of sleepless nights and had the bags under your eyes to prove it. Each milestone, each new tooth, each new outfit that grew too tight way too soon... they are all part of the awesomeness of motherhood. In the words of the first every mother’s day card I was given; it’s all about “laughing till you cry and crying til you laugh… from love to lunacy and everything in between”