Source: http://www.lovequotesmessages.com |
About a year ago, I was laying the groundwork to pursue a dream of mine - to return to school. Now, in my second term at business school at Oxford University, I'm filled with gratitude to be experiencing my dream come true but also constantly battling the sacrifices I've had to make with family. On days like, today, when my daughter turns four, I'd much rather be at home suffocating her with hugs and kisses, clearing the remnants of a rowdy kids party, and reminiscing with my husband on what a great four years our journey has been. Instead, I'm sitting in a beautiful historic city, in my student room, the size of my walk-in closet back at home, contemplating the market composition of the retail banking sector in the UK, while plotting my skimming strategy for reading about the US video game industry.
I'm not complaining! I know, I am blessed beyond measure but I cannot help but marvel at the juxtapositions of modern motherhood. I very much want to be here pursuing my career and dreams at Oxford. I also really want to be with my daughter today in Accra and it would be awesome to be at home with my husband in Virginia, all at the same time. Admittedly, these are first-world problems and being in three places at once is simply impossible. However, thinking about how my heart is in three places, underscores my privilege - while some mothers have to decide on the trade-off between food and bills, my emotional hiccups are objectively less bleak.
Nevertheless, the point must still be made: modern motherhood, especially, one that involves career ambitions is a constant tug of war between wants and needs and between emotions and clear thinking. Though we are spoiled for choice, the crucial decisions that we have to make cannot be managed by analytics and decision trees. There is no way to quantify the opportunity cost of missing your daughter's fourth birthday in dollars, percentages, or probabilities. There is also no simple way to quantify the life-changing experience that is Oxford. So I must, in faith, surge forward, making the best of today for a better tomorrow, knowing my daughter is in the safe and loving hands of her grandparents and relying on technology to keep our communication alive.
Happy birthday to my heartbeat, my joy, and pride! Mummy is trying to achieve great things, so that you will know that absolutely nothing is impossible with God.